NF Secrets

New Franken

NF Secrets

The Secrets revealed of some of New Franken's Greatest Mysteries

Mike with the NF Troll

Sorry about the poor picture (he agreed to take only one after the flash scared him)

The NF Troll

The NF Troll was recently enlisted by the New Franken army to help guard bridge crossings into New Franken, as a troll he is the obvious choice for this job. His origins, age, and current whereabouts are unknown; all that is known is that he is in New Franken under a bridge somewhere. He makes his home under an undisclosed bridge where he lives in a hole with his wife and collection of heads from people who couldn't answer his riddles for safe passage. The troll has been armed with a series of riddles whose answers are only disclosed to top NF army officials. The only picture of the troll is above, he refuses to take another since he doesn't trust any human technology. The picture was taken just after the treaty signing with General Mike. The troll had to walk many miles to get to NF since he trusts no human transportation, so the NFers cleverly disguised him as a hippie.

Click here to read about the infamous New Franken Rave

The New Franken Witch

This little known secret of NF has recently been destroyed. Off of Hermans Rd. there was always that house back in the woods. Old and falling apart it was always something to catch the gaze of the young NFers. Recently tales have surfaced of the house being haunted by an old witch. Some NFers can remember being told of the evil witch that ate children as they were kids. The leaders of NF had actually been recently looking into the alleged haunting but were stopped before they could actually find anything out when the house and surrounding woods was cut down. The house was burned to the ground and it is assumed that the witch along with it.

The MudPeople

A scary mystery, that shows a more disturbing part of New Franken. Living in the fields of New Franken are the MudPeople, new to New Franken in the last few years, the MudPeople roam the neighborhood underground. Noone is sure if the MudPeople are hostile or not, some of the more fearful believe that they will kidnap children and drag them underground into their elaborate system of tunnels, but so far no disaperances have been reported. Their origins are believed to be linked to the Middle East, It is believed that these were formerly shady characters attracted to the Middle East by it's drugs and loose women. When these mysterious men came they slept in the dumpsters full of dirt and garbage. It is believed that corrupt Middle East officials have been dumping excess radioactive toxic waste in the dumpsters, that chemically bonded the men and this mud, horribly mutating them.

The MudPeople rising from under the ground

The SteerMink

The origins of the steermink go all the way back to the very discovery of New Franken, when the first explorers actually met one of the beasts face to face, scared they began to run, but they were stopped by their Native American guide who taught them about the beast and how to gain it's trust. Nobody knows how the SteerMink came into existence. Most guess that thousands of years ago a wild steer mated with a mink, the creature was the size of a steer but looked like a mink with horns. The beast also has the power to shoot fire from it's mouth like a dragon. The SteerMink recieved this ability from the early Native Americans who lived in harmony with the beast, when settlers began to take over their land, they put a spell on the steermink to allow them to shoot fire and take out the white man. But with guns men still overpowered the SteerMink, and it learned to fear the white man, except those true New Frankeners that decent from the original Native friendly explorers.

A scale to demonstrate the size of the SteerMink

The SteerMink is a nocturnal creature that lives in the woods of New Franken, and only comes out to feed at night. It is an omnivore, meaning it eats both meats and greens. Since settlers have moved into the area the SteerMink have had a constant supply of people and crops to feed on so it has grown in size, and an adult can weigh up to 2500 lbs. and reach lengths of 20 feet. The SteerMink population in New Franken is estimated at a possible 10 steermink in the area, all that is left of a population that thousands of years ago exceeded 500. And they roamed in packs all over North America. In the winter the SteerMink does not hibernate, but in fact becomes more active in searching for food, and is at that time most dangerous. In New Franken it is not safe to roam too long at night alone without some sort of weapon.

The New Franken Secret Society

A secret society has been formed in New Franken, no one knows when the society began. Though it's estimated that the orginization goes back over 50 years. We do know that the society consists of many prominent New Frankeners, many of them are veterans of the United States Armed Services. These men's virtues are tested slowly over years until they become full members of the society. We are fairly certain they meet once a week and consist of 8-12 members. There they discuss New Franken politics and set plans into action to fight the pressures of the Green Bay Buracracy and it's imposing laws. Fight on you members of this brave society.